This story isn't for the faint of heart. In fact, we wouldn't really recommend it for anybody, but we'll soldier on regardless. Thomas Martel hails from Colorado, and after upgrading to an
iPhone, he decided his big hands were just too much of a burden to bear. "From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," says Martel. So what's a man to do? Why, get those digits downsized, of course. Thomas went under the knife for a new technique called "whittling." The doctors made a small cut in each thumb and shaved down the bones, then they adjusted the muscles and fingernails to fit the new thumb size. Martel's new thumbs look a tad effeminate, and there's always that problem of expense and general discomfort, but he thinks the procedure "will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." Whatever you say, Thomas.
Update: InformationWeek is
reporting this story as false. North Denver News hasn't pulled it yet, but given the far-fetched nature, we're certainly having doubts of its authenticity. Either way, we don't recommend you running out and getting your thumbs whittled any time soon.
Update 2: We called North Denver News, still no response, we'll keep you posted.
Update 3: North Denver News finally
confirmed the story as a hoax. "Satirical social commentary," as they put it.
[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]
posted Aug 10th 2007 6:38PM
Weird
There are not enough "..." to express my "..."
WHAT
A
MORON
What more can we expect from a man with a last name that means 'hammer'
This cannot be true. What's next? A story about the forthcoming modem tax?
Why didn't this guy use a bluetooth keyboard if he had a problem using the qwerty keyboards on the phones?
Not extremely easy to use a fold out Bluetooth keyboard when you're standing on the subway.
Well if he can put up with surgery removing part of his fingers I think he can manage to wait until the subway stops and finds a place to sit and use the flip out keyboard.You don't need to go to extremes in order to find a way to do simple things such as type an email or text message on your phone.
This will "pay off in 10-15 years". Ha.
At the rate technology is changing on a yearly/monthly/daily basis. I'm guessing he will be kicking himself when keyboards and thumb boards will be replaced by voice recognition.
what a frigtard
Man, I always new the Apple faithful were a bunch of nuts, but this really takes the cake!
What the faithful will do for their precious...