Also, this "Hopefully the collective retard's minds will catch up with the technology soon enough," should be:
"Hopefully the collective retard(S)' minds will catch up..." [plural possessive], unless the collective retard (singular) is some being that I'm unaware of... which is possible.
“There's a certain feeling of wading through water with this phone, as every time we went exploring the menus, we were met with a delay long enough to make us doubt our keystrokes registered.”
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Also, this "Hopefully the collective retard's minds will catch up with the technology soon enough," should be:
"Hopefully the collective retard(S)' minds will catch up..." [plural possessive], unless the collective retard (singular) is some being that I'm unaware of... which is possible.