FAIL.

No, no winblows emulators of OS X.

no.

FAIL.

The answer to all of your questions is...

NO!!!!!

http://www.apple.com/macosx/techspecs/

You need a much faster processor, a DVD drive...

Are you Strong Bad?

Only Strong Bad uses computers as hopelessly out of date as what you claim to be slinging.

I, for one, ALWAYS welcome our feline-monikered overlords...

Master Chief FTW!

....but I don't see it...and I've got his helmet right here (Halo 3 Legendary Edition).

HEY!

Don't apply logic to this!

People that want to hate Apple will always find reasons to hate Apple.

Leave the trolls to it.

It IS a true Zune knock-off, then!

I'm an Apple Fanboy, and when I saw the picture, it screamed "Zune!!!!"

@Adrian Williams:

Overkill? Only in Halo 3...

I qualify as one of those young people that owns an iPhone, and I forgot to open it and ingest the contents!!

What HAVE I been doing with my life? I didn't know you're supposed to eat electronic devices!

Wait...only a moron would actually believe that a closed device containing chemicals that can only harm a person when ingested would actually be an issue.

Oh, and vanboy; I love how you bring to light that only young people can be harmed by this. I suppose my boss is perfectly safe, then?

Please enlighten me further.

zomfg PRODUCT(red) iPhonez!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...I could really care less if Apple opts to use a charity to sell some more iPhones.

"Oh, but we'll donate $10 to (insert lost cause here)!!!!!"

Um, if I wanted to donate $10 to a lost cause, I'd hand a 10 to some homeless person, not buy a $400 phone.

Sent from my iPhone